A Positive Movie Review: Ender’s Game

enders-game-movie-posterI never read critic reviews of movies anymore. Not since I mistakenly opened up the newspaper (or whatever, internet) and heartbreakingly read what a terrible movie Rush Hour 2 was. It was terrible! Apparently, it earned like maybe a D- from critics and with a heavy heart I forced myself to watch it anyway. It turns out, movie critics are pompous assholes and I loved that movie! Pacific Rim!

Also, apparently anybody can write a movie review now; you don’t even have to do a wikipedia search on the source material! Ender’s Game is my favorite book, did I mention that? I should have started with that.

So fast forward to when I accidentally read a few critic reviews on the Fandango app as I was excitedly purchasing my tickets for Ender’s Game. My rage overfloweth’d is the appropriate term. The reviews were terrible, they compared Ender’s Game to a failed attempt at re-creating Twilight (I just threw up a little), they spoke’th about what a dark and moody movie it was for a teen action flick, and they wailed on it for clearly attempting to cash in on a trilogy story arc.


Hold on. Let me steady my heart rate.


This review though, is about everything I loved about the movie adaptation of Ender’s Game. People that complain if the movie doesn’t exactly match the portrayal of the book bother me because they seem to have a poor grasp on reality. To squeeze a book like Ender’s Game into a 2 hour, interesting visual masterpiece is not an easy task (see: LOTR, Harry Potter, Watchmen…) To its credit, Ender’s Game does this tremendously well. Ender is not some super-human 18 year old who can easily destroy his opponents; he is a geeky, scared little kid who happens to be brilliant.

… ahem… spoilers below (maybe?)…

While the movie does compress years of psycho/social terror at Battle School into maybe 30 days, it just has to. For a 2 hour movie it definitely feels like we just flew through Ender’s story arc and we didn’t get much time to really reminisce at exactly how terribly twisted Ender was forced to become. But that’s ok with me. The fundamental story was all there, the mind games complete with communication from the Formics, the pivotal strategies Ender employed in Battle School to win, and the horrific realization at what he had done after the war, were detailed straight from the book and I loved it.

In conclusion, Ender’s Game was amazing, true to the book, visually stunning, heartbreaking, and maybe a little dark and moody as it should be. I loved it. Go see it!



Email OCD

Hello, my name is Tim Schnell and I have a problem. The internet has done terrible things to the way my brain works. I currently have the following email accounts, all forwarded to my phone which I check constantly:

  • timothy.schnell@yahoo.com
  • timothy.schnell@utexas.edu
  • tim@super-productive.com
  • tim@downpourmusic.com
  • timductive@gmail.com
  • voicemod@gmail.com

This list does not include my work email account, which is its own problem but that is 6 email accounts! That may not seem like that many email accounts, and I can’t even imagine how many I have let die by the side of an empty, barren highway (RIP tschnell17@hotmail.com).

Meanwhile, the OCD in my head is telling me that I need to create a new email address that is even simpler and forward everything to it, something like tim@tim.com would be good. I guess I could try and use one of my existing emails as a main email address but they all have problems.

My yahoo account is dumb because I can’t forward it via POP/IMAP without paying an annual fee to Yahoo of 20 dollars! I’m sorry Yahoo, I know you need money but you aren’t going to get it by charging me for a service that is free from Google. Oh also, the interface is just… it’s just terrible Yahoo!.

My utexas account was originally the one that I was going to use because it is hosted by Gmail so it has most of the Gmail features, but not all of them. I can’t use it as my Google+ account or (more importantly) to setup my Chrome account.

Super-productive and downpourmusic are for their related websites but their email management is terrible. They are designed to be forwarded to a better email provider.

timductive and voicemod are actually ok (except some random old lady uses my voicemod account somehow), but they aren’t really email accounts to be used in a professional manner.

See? They all have problems. I need a new perfect one. My ideal email address would be tim@gmail.com or even tim.schnell@gmail.com, all the tim related gmail accounts are taken already. Probably by me actually… but I have lost them all to the steady drum of time as it beats against my brain.

One email address to rule them all!

These are the things (wags finger)… These are the things that keep my up at night.